Ardie’s Day Care: School For Growing Super Heroes

Ardie’s Day Care: School For Growing Super Heroes

We’ve all heard of X-Men’s ‘Professor Xavier School For Gifted Youngsters,’ but not many are familiar with ‘Ardie’s Day Care.’ Ardie’s is the elite academic program where the strongest, most gifted youngsters take their first steps into the world of heroism training. Located in the quaint little town of Toledo, WA, Ardie’s Day Care has been the secret origin of countless crime fighting champions for more than three decades now. Don’t quote me on this, but I believe since Superman’s home planet of Krypton was destroyed, Ardie’s has been the sole supplier of heroes for the rest of the universe. The vast network of interplanetary systems funnel their last and only hopes for salvation here to train them. Supers then return to their respective home planets to fight evil once achieving the pinnacle of all known accomplishments – completing Ardie’s cutting-edge program.

I have to admit, as a humble earthling photographer, I was extremely intimidated working with the super kiddos. I’d imagine that unintentionally wafting a frowned brow in their direction could result in myself staring at the business end of a super beatdown. Where a normal photographic session may spawn worry about red-eye in photos, I was worried about laser eyes.




Walking around the campus and witnessing this unique, intimate perspective almost had me thinking they were ordinary children; a very human sense to their nature as they traveled to and from napping and snack time sessions. That is until I snidely made a crack about Lois Lane’s mom, which landed me in a crippling headlock via a 3-year-old Superman. Talk about super hearing…

To shade Ardie’s true super agenda, the buildings look like any ordinary day care from the street side view. Once beyond it’s heavily guarded perimeter, I was exposed to it’s hidden, state-of-the-art facilities. Intense exercise programs, along with sessions they refer to as “danger drills,” ensure gargantuan muscle gains and lightning-fast reflex development. I was fortunate enough to witness a super trikes racing workout. I’d never seen a set of tires catch on fire like that before via bipedal being power.  All I could see were capes fluttering in a tornado column of smoke. How could kiddos so small and cute contain such elegant, caged fury? Impressive.


To fuel such active supers, the staff disclosed an equally super sized nutrition plan. Here they don’t measure helpings of meals by pounds or gallons but rather in “trucking caravans,” consisting of milk, eggs, and the always delicious Taco Bell (apparently supers are invulnerable to food poisoning).

One of the cornerstones to Ardie’s Day Care’s success is its stringent academic program. With a constant battle of good versus evil in the universe, it’s vital that key examples between the two continually be displayed for the young heroes to keep identification skills sharp. Pictured below, you can see how easily they can draw a clear line in the sand to sort the good guys from the bad guys, which helps them make those tough, split second decisions when lives are on the line.

It was an intense experience but I made it through with no broken bones and came away with some rare photos of a closely guarded domain. Ardie’s Day Care is a gem in the black, infinite span of the universe, where super heroes are polished into extraordinary beings who venture out and make this world a better, safer place to live.

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